Throughout my life, as an intelligent, articulate woman, I've consistently received a particular piece of advice regarding romantic relationships: find a partner who is either my intellectual equal or, preferably, someone who can further stretch my intellectual capacities. This suggestion, coming from both men and women, has remained unchanged from my youth to my older years. However, in both of my long-term relationships, I chose partners whose education didn't extend beyond high school. Interestingly, it wasn't a lack of education or a disparity in intelligence that led to the failure of my first relationship; other factors were at play.

This raises an important question: Why is such advice predominantly given to women, and not to their male counterparts?

It's not uncommon to observe pairings where an intellectually accomplished man is with a woman celebrated for attributes other than academic prowess. This is widely accepted, even normalised. Yet, when an intelligent woman is involved, there's a pervasive belief that she needs someone of equal or greater intellectual calibre. This notion, I believe, stems from outdated ideas that women need to look up to a man, and that a man should be the one to elevate a woman to a higher level of understanding or achievement.

I firmly challenge this idea.

An intelligent woman is fully capable of managing her own life, pursuing her intellectual interests, and choosing a partner based on criteria other than academic or intellectual compatibility. In my experience, seeking academic conversation isn't a priority in a life partner. The academic sphere where I interact provides ample opportunities for such discussions. My expectation from a life partner lies elsewhere.

This advice, perhaps inadvertently, reinforces the archaic belief that women are incomplete without a man to guide and inspire them. It disregards the autonomy and capability of women to determine their own needs and aspirations. Like their male counterparts, intelligent women know what they

want, are aware of their potential, and pursue paths that align with their identity and interests. They don't require a man to validate the importance of

their choices or to fill any perceived intellectual void. Moreover, the implication that a successful partnership hinges on equivalent educational levels is a narrow view that overlooks the richness of human relationships. Partnerships thrive on various factors like mutual respect, emotional support, shared values, and complementary strengths, which transcend academic achievements.

A life partnership is about more than just matching intellectual credentials. It's about building a life with someone who respects and supports your ambitions, shares your values, and complements your personality in ways that foster mutual growth and happiness. The focus should be on the quality of the relationship and the character of the individuals involved, rather than their diplomas.

It's time to discard the outdated notion that an intelligent woman needs a man of equal or superior intellect to lead or complete her.

Women, like men, are capable of shaping their destinies and choosing partners based on a broad spectrum of qualities that go beyond academic brilliance.