What did you grow up believing?

No, I’m not talking about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Those are stories we outgrow.

I’m thinking more of the stories we take with us into adulthood about who we are, our place in the world, what we should or shouldn’t do, what we can or cannot be.

I’m thinking of the stories that shape the perceptions we have of ourselves. The stories that shape the perceptions others have of us. The stories that we live by.

Let me tell you one of my stories.

I grew up in a conservative Christian family. My mum and dad both worked for The Commonwealth Bank when they met but, once they married, Mum had to relinquish her position – in the early 1950s married women were not able to hold a position as they were potentially taking a job from a married man with a family to support.

As their eldest child, there were unwritten expectations that I absorbed as norms for my life – including that marriage and children were the prime role for women. And I did just that. I left my role as a teacher when we started to ‘try’ for a family, and raising my sons became the focus of my life.

I’m not denigrating that role. It is a wonderful and fulfilling role.

But if I felt I had other choices I would have chosen another course – a greater focus on academia and much less on getting married and having a family.

It took a troubled marriage that I couldn’t save, no matter how hard I tried, separation and divorce for me to really consider that I could shape a new story for my life - that I no longer needed to live within the parameters and boundaries my family and faith culture told me were the only options for women.

It takes courage to challenge long-held beliefs. It takes courage to examine what we’ve believed and decide if it remains true, helpful, useful or appropriate for our lives.

And then it takes courage to step away from those long-held beliefs and forge a new story.

But it can be done. I did it.

Do you need to have #courageous #conversations in your workplace?  Talk to me.   I curate courageous conversations in the workplace to navigate changes in culture.

Do you have a gap in the speaker line-up for your next conference or in-house event?   Talk to me.  I speak about accessing courage to move from equity to equilibrium.