They are not interested in putting in the hard work to achieve their goals, or they’re not willing to risk some discomfort by putting themselves into new situations, or they wish their lives away hoping that somehow miraculously their dreams will come true.

But when you put your hand up for a new position – and get it – instead of being pleased for you they choose to minimise your achievement.

Has that happened to you? It happened to me when I was teaching a number of years ago.

I let the chairman of the board, of the small school at which I was teaching, know that if the principal’s position became available that I’d like to be considered. And when the role became vacant, I was offered the role and accepted the challenge.

I was so pleased! And so proud of myself. Although I’d not had that kind of leadership role before, I knew I was capable and was ready for the challenge.

But…and there’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there!

But, over a family Christmas lunch (for those non-Aussies reading this, our school year ends just before Christmas) I overheard a close family member talking about my new role for the coming year. And I heard these words, “Bronwyn really got it by default. There wasn’t anybody else they could ask.”

I was so hurt by those words. Even if they were true, why would you say such things?

While I later challenged the speaker as to why they said such a thing and although they assured me that they were proud of me, I knew the words said that diminished my achievements were what they really thought. And having heard those words, I could not unhear them. But I could choose to work hard and fulfil my new role to the best of my ability.

I was only in that role for a year, as the small school closed at the end of 2004. But, even in that short space of time I learnt a few things.

First, that no matter the number of students in the school a principal’s workload is full on. Particularly in a small school with limited admin assistance the principal does all the day-to-day admin as well as the annual reporting.

Second, the ability to lead well comes down to the character of the person leading not the number of people they lead. I only had one other staff member – and had a full class load as well – but I needed to lead as well in this situation as I would have with 10 times as many staff.

Third, that the best leading is done under pressure. The school was under constant pressure to remain open and the school board was split by rifts. But my role was keep the school on an even keel and, in this case, to finish well. That final end-of-year celebration was bitter-sweet, but it was a celebration of all we’d been able to do in the lives of the children who attended.

Other people’s words and opinions can hurt and diminish.



But we can choose to lead – ourselves and others – despite that.